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Preparing for Marriage

For the Choson (Groom)

Everything a choson learns before the wedding, on one page: each chapter of Family Purity, followed by its 10 review questions from the Study Guide for Choson & Kallah.

Your chapters

These are the chapters, and this is the material we recommend for you. For each one: open the chapter and read it, then answer its 10 questions right below. Tap an answer to see whether it's right and the page in Family Purity where it's explained.

New to it all?

Start with the one-page overview of the month or the beginner's guide. They show the whole cycle, including the kallah's part, before you go into the details.

Chapter 2

Niddah

When the niddah state begins, and why it already applies before the wedding.

1. The material

2. Review: 10 questions 0 of 10 answered

  1. The niddah state commences when blood leaves the womb _____.

  2. Even a minute amount of blood coming from the womb causes the niddah state.

  3. Blood from the womb causes the niddah state, even if it is dry.

  4. All the prohibitions of niddah, including affectionate touching and yichud, apply to an unmarried woman who has begun menstruating.

  5. The scriptural punishment of excision, kores, associated with niddah is applicable _____.

  6. The niddah state, as scripturally defined, is intrinsically connected to a physical sensation, hargasha.

  7. Which is considered a menstrual sensation, hargasha?

  8. When a wife feels the sensation of the uterus opening she _____.

  9. A wife who felt a menstrual sensation, hargasha, and didn't check remains pure.

  10. The wife is in doubt whether she has had a sensation, hargasha, or not. She did not check. In such a case, she _____.

Next: Chapter 3, Stains ↓

Chapter 3

Stains

How stains (kesamim) are judged, and why a rav is asked each time.

1. The material

2. Review: 10 questions 0 of 10 answered

  1. The niddah state caused by finding a stain is _____ in origin.

  2. By definition, a stain, kesem, implies it was not accompanied with the sensation (hargasha) usually associated with menstruation.

  3. Blood found on an examination cloth _____ categorized as a stain, kesem.

  4. Can a stain sometimes be attributed to an outside [of the body] source?

  5. Staining can render a woman niddah regardless of whether she is post-menopausal, pregnant, or nursing.

  6. Stains almost always render a wife niddah, therefore it is superfluous to ask a Rabbi concerning each incident.

  7. A stain, kesem, smaller than _____ does not result in the woman's becoming impure.

  8. Stains of these colors cause the niddah state: _____.

  9. The shape of stains determines if they are pure or impure.

  10. During the permissible times it is preferable to wear _____ underwear.

Next: Chapter 4, Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder ↓

Chapter 4

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

The laws of separation while the wife is niddah, which the husband keeps together with her.

1. The material

2. Review: 10 questions 0 of 10 answered

  1. A woman who became niddah remains so until immersing in a mikveh, in accordance with halacha, even if many years have passed.

  2. The husband is _____ be lenient in some of the laws of separation in order to persuade his wife to immerse in the mikveh.

  3. A couple feels sure that leniency regarding one of the laws of separation will not create any feelings of intimacy whatsoever. Are they permitted to be lenient in that particular law?

  4. Direct body contact is _____.

  5. Holding a common object which does not move, e.g. a table, is _____.

  6. The husband's touching the clothing being worn by his niddah wife, or vice versa, is _____.

  7. Tossing an object one to the other is _____.

  8. Eating on the same table is permissible when _____.

  9. It is _____ for the husband to smell perfume on his niddah wife's body.

  10. To hear one's niddah wife singing is _____.

Next: Chapter 9, What Is a Mikveh? ↓

Chapter 9 Recommended

What Is a Mikveh?

What makes a mikveh kosher.

1. The material

2. Review: 10 questions 0 of 10 answered

  1. The word mikveh translates as _____.

  2. _____ gathered in one place is a mikveh.

  3. The amount of water sufficient to be called a mikveh is _____.

  4. Someone who has entered the niddah state _____,

  5. Chabad custom sees the "otzar" saving pool _____ the mikveh pool.

  6. In mikvehs built according to other poskim the "otzar" saving pool is _____.

  7. There is _____ intermingling of otzar water and immersion pool water in mikvehs built according to the Chabad custom.

  8. Regarding mikvehs with the "otzar" saving pool on the side, the connecting aperture is to be _____ at least in diameter.

  9. The aperture connecting the two pools thus making a "kosher" mikveh is _____ to be opened on Shabbos.

  10. It is sufficient to ensure the "mikveh-lady" has been given one time directions.

Next: Chapter 11, Intimate Relations ↓

Chapter 11

Intimate Relations

Marital relations in holiness, including holy books and a mezuzah in the room.

1. The material

2. Review: 10 questions 0 of 10 answered

  1. Marital relations are forbidden in a room with holy objects or books.

  2. For marital relations to be permitted in a room with holy objects or books, these must be covered with _____ coverings.

  3. A mezuzah on the outside of a door _____ to be covered to permit marital relations.

  4. A mezuzah on the inside of a door _____ to be covered to permit marital relations.

  5. When necessary, how many coverings does the mezuzah require to permit marital relations?

  6. On Shabbos, it is _____ to cover holy books or objects to permit marital relations.

  7. To allow marital relations in a room in which there is sefer Torah, _____.

  8. A room divider must be at least _____ high to permit marital relations.

  9. The room divider which permits marital relations _____ be opaque.

  10. Is putting a room divider which permits marital relations in place permitted on Shabbos?

Next: Chapter 12, Proper Times for Marital Relations ↓

Chapter 12

Proper Times for Marital Relations

Shabbos, Yom Kippur, Tisha BeAv and the night of the mikveh.

1. The material

2. Review: 10 questions 0 of 10 answered

  1. Marital relations on Friday night, in the eyes of cha"zal, is _____.

  2. Does the prohibition of marital relations on Yom Kippur extend to other activities?

  3. Are husband and wife permitted to touch one another on Yom Kippur?

  4. When do the limitations on behavior between husband and wife on Yom Kippur begin?

  5. Beyond marital relations, are there any other prohibitions on Tisha BeAv?

  6. Husband and wife are _____ to sleep in the same bed on Tisha B'Av.

  7. Are there any leniencies, in the prohibitions between husband and wife, regarding the day of Tisha BeAv in contrast to the night?

  8. When Tisha BeAv falls on Friday evening _____.

  9. On the night of the mikveh it is _____.

  10. On the eve of Rosh Chodesh, performing the marital duties is _____.

Next: Chapter 13, The Wedding Night ↓

Chapter 13

The Wedding Night

The weeks before the chupah, the wedding night, and what applies if the kallah is niddah.

1. The material

2. Review: 10 questions 0 of 10 answered

  1. Prior to the wedding night, bride and groom refrain from seeing one another for _____ days.

  2. The precaution of bride and groom not seeing one another prior to the wedding _____.

  3. In preparation for the wedding night, the bride must go through the identical procedure, i.e. hefsek taharah, seven white days, hafifah, immersion, as during married life.

  4. It is _____ to schedule the wedding for a night the bride will be pure.

  5. Preparing for the wedding, the bride _____ to wait the usual five days from when she feels bleeding has stopped until performing the hefsek tahara.

  6. Choose the most correct statement.

  7. The last of the seven white days fell out on the wedding day.

  8. It is preferable, from a halachic standpoint, to complete marital relations the night of the chupah.

  9. The choson _____ be told before the chupah if the bride is niddah.

  10. When the wife is niddah on the night of the wedding, do the laws of separation apply?

Next: Chapter 14, Time of the Anticipated Menstruation ↓

Chapter 14

Time of the Anticipated Menstruation

The separation dates (vestos) recorded and calculated every month.

1. The material

2. Review: 10 questions 0 of 10 answered

  1. The responsibility to record the ongoing menstrual appearance and its cessation is _____.

  2. A wife who is certain that she intuitively knows when her menstruation will appear _____.

  3. Regarding these laws, daytime and nighttime are considered from _____.

  4. To observe these laws it is necessary to calculate according to the Hebrew, lunar, calendar.

  5. The examination on these dates is _____.

  6. Blood found during one of these examinations _____.

  7. The Monthly Cycle represents _____.

  8. On the Monthly Cycle separation is observed for _____.

  9. The Interval Cycle, according to Chabad custom, reflects the number of half days (onahs,) from _____.

  10. Which general rule is correct?

Next: Chapter 15, Birth ↓

Chapter 15

Birth

The laws around childbirth and miscarriage.

1. The material

2. Review: 10 questions 0 of 10 answered

  1. Does the onset of contractions require behaving as if the wife is niddah?

  2. Contractions have progressed to the point where the wife finds it difficult to walk, and asks for assistance. Does the wife enter the niddah state?

  3. The amniotic sac's bursting _____.

  4. Birth causes the niddah state.

  5. The husband _____ be present in the same room with his wife during delivery.

  6. After the birth of a daughter which of the following best describes what's required prior to immersing in the mikveh?

  7. Do all the laws of separation observed during menstruation apply after birth as well?

  8. Is the niddah state caused by birth considered when calculating the next anticipated menstruation (vestos)?

  9. Does a miscarriage result in the niddah state?

  10. Which of the following is true regarding a miscarriage which occurred up to and including the fortieth day of pregnancy?

You have reached the end of the choson's chapters. Mazal tov!

These questions are for review. For any practical question in these laws, please ask an orthodox rabbi expert in them, or ask Rabbi Jacobs privately.