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Textbook: Family Purity; and assigned texts.

6-10 online meetings.

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The marriage and family is the building block from which the entire Jewish People is built." — the Rebbe

(212) 655-9278

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Kfar Chabad,

Israel 6084000

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By definition, there is no perfect marriage. Perfection is without flaw. It even suggests effortlessness. Marriage is not this.

Marriage is a framework in which two distinctly different individuals, from separate backgrounds and families, each with his/her own personal needs, form a new entity—a couple. Now, what really matters is the mutual good—the success of the marriage.

To suggest that this can be achieved in an offhand manner would be misleading. Marriages undergo evolutionary changes. They are dynamic. They begin as the union between two lives. With the passing of time, these lives adapt, and with the achievement of mutual goals (raising children, paying bills, buying a home) merge into one.

This is an evolutionary process unattainable so long as each partner continues to be concerned mainly with his or her personal satisfaction. This is simply not a marriage.

Although not directly related to the specific laws of family purity per se, there are a number of issues which the husband should be aware of in the larger context of married life.

The time of the wife's menstruation is, in many cases, and to varying degrees, an uncomfortable one for her. Even prior to the onset of menstruation some women experience the physical or emotional discomfort called Premenstrual Syndrome.

As a result of the uterus expelling blood, many women experience menstrual cramping (Dysmenorrhea). This is a biological phenomenon over which she has little control. Both of these subjects are discussed in more detail in the Appendix.

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About this Overview . The following purity cycle, as it most commonly occurs, is presented as a succinct reference.

Note that almost every detail, however, can have deviations with potential repercussion, many of which are covered in this book.

Niddah State . The wife enters a niddah state (impurity) when menstruation begins.

Separation . Until she immerses, all physical contact with her husband ceases.

Ascertaining Bleeding Ceased . When at least five days have passed, prior to sunset the wife washes her entire body, particularly the private area, with warm water. Then, with a soft white cloth wrapped around the fingers, she internally examines herself. If this is clean from discoloration, again before sunset, she inserts a soft white cloth into her private area. This is removed after nightfall.

Seven White Days . If that is clean from discoloration, she begins the Seven White Days. During these days she wears white underpants, and sleeps on white bed sheets. Every day, she examines herself twice daily with a soft white cloth.

Preparation . On the last of the Seven White Days she scrupulously washes her entire body, including shampooing and combing the hair, brushing her teeth and making sure the body is free from intervening substances.

Immersion . After nightfall she immerses in the mikveh.

Permissible Times . The times when marital relations are permissible.

Separation Dates . On an ongoing basis, throughout married life, the dates when menstruation begins and finishes are recorded. From these are projected separation dates in anticipation of the upcoming menstruation.

The Talmudic Rabbis forbade being alone with members of the opposite gender with whom marital relations are forbidden and the punishment for willing transgression, i.e., intercourse, is excision; for example, one's daughter-in-law or sister-in-law. This prohibition, called yichud, was designed to ensure modest and proper behavior.

Relations with one's spouse during the time of nidda are forbidden and the scriptural punishment is excision. Yichud should, therefore, have fallen into their legislation. However, due to practical considerations and obvious limitations, the prohibition of yichud was not extended to one's wife.

Since the Rabbis permitted this closeness between husband and wife as an exception to the above rule, they saw the necessity to limit contact in a wide spectrum of other areas. These areas are explained in this chapter.

The laws of separation are identical regardless of whether the reason for the wife's present state of nidda is biblical (e.g. menstruation) or rabbinic (e.g. finding a stain) in origin.

Likewise, the laws of separation are equally strict both in the five day time period (see Chapter Five) and in the seven white days (see Chapter Six). Furthermore, as long as the wife hasn't immersed in a mikveh, all of the laws of separation must be followed, even if many years have gone by since her last menstrual cycle.

The wife follows the laws of separation from the moment she realizes her change of status; her husband starts from the moment she notifies him, either explicitly, or through her actions.

A couple, while in the company of other people, is not permitted to be lenient in the laws of separation for the sake of keeping the wife's nidda state a secret.

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Nidda - Basis